From the reflections video that you can find in the blog posts, you will see that my Dad enjoyed the end product, which is nice to hear. I was interested to see what he had to say, as I had chopped up a lot of what he said and only included the aspects which rang true and were relevant to the themes of the film. It seems like he found the process quite intense, revealing, and has led him to reflect and think about the future, perhaps a little differently than before. As to whether he enjoyed the process of being filmed and the conversations (interrogations?) themselves, I’m not so sure.
The conversations I had with my dad throughout the process were helpful for me I think as well. I got the feeling that there was some element of teaching going on from my dad, whether he was aware of it or not. His insight that meaning for him is made in the projects that he undertakes in the world, and that these projects are important aspects of life in many ways, is one that I have reflected on, and holds sway with me. I understand that people are fulfilled in different ways, my fulfilment hasn’t come from “work” much as of yet in my life, outside of reading and writing or artistic endeavour, and as such I have turned away from and marginalised this area of my life in the past, just getting the hours done. I hope to be able to do work which I find rewarding, as he has done in the past, and perhaps then I will see things from his perspective more.
Throughout the process I was trying to get him to enquire into whether finding a project is the right thing for him to do at this stage, and to perhaps settle into the fact that he doesn’t have any distinct purpose currently. Whilst using the anxiety stemming from this as a means to enquire into why he feels lost without a purpose, in the hope of opening up a different aspect of his experience. This was the goal but I felt a distinct defence against this avenue of thought which I didn’t want to pursue, and I think now that him finding something to do which is fulfilling is perhaps the best avenue for him in order to be happy. I also get the impression that there was an introspective aspect of his experience, which he looked at in youth, and moved on from after finding no answers to certain questions. I’m sure this is an area I will continue to subtly touch upon when we spend time together, and try to get him talking about.